Teaching our kids win-win relationships

Every human being has great potential to be developed, as we have the intelligence to understand our world.

Although technological evolution has helped us to obtain more information, sometimes we have not yet transformed it into wisdom, practice and attitude.

If we want to be happy and we want to have healthy relationships, we have to act for that. It is not enough to wait. We need to be the cause for happiness. Helping someone, for example, may be a small action for the other, but bring great happiness to you.

We are a family owned and operated business.

We would all like to get along very well with others: with family members, with the husband or boyfriend, with the teacher, with school friends, etc. But if we have this goal, why can't we achieve it? What does our mind lack?

We are a family owned and operated business.

The beauty of human creation is that we are responsible for our experiences, we have the ability to choose our actions. So, I ask another question: why is it so difficult to think of an interpersonal relationship in which the win-win relationship is present?

For generations we are created to be strong, not to accept losing, not to be "fools". Until we disarm ourselves from this paradigm, this form of thinking rooted in our mind, we will not be able to find win-win solutions.

We are a family owned and operated business.

Think about your place of work: a colleague of yours, who has been absent from work for 2 days because your dog has been hospitalized, asks if you can stay a little longer in the office to help you finish that report requested by the boss. You had arranged with your girlfriend to go to the cinema, which you usually do every 4th. Market. Couldn't you help him? But that judgment will surely come to your mind: “but also, it was delayed because of the dog! Now that he bears the consequences "or else" oh, I can't undo it with my girlfriend ".

We are a family owned and operated business.

Wouldn't there be a win-win solution for such a situation? How about if we think about the possibility of the girlfriend also helping them in the service? Or until we all go home to one and work together having a good coffee?

We need to learn to think win-win. We live in a world of abundance, full of different solutions, but we just need to open our minds to want to find them.

We are a family owned and operated business.

It is necessary to get rid of old paradigms that weigh in our decisions, to understand that we are all interconnected to each other, that our good and bad actions will have repercussions in this world.

But, how can we live these new concepts if we were not created like this? And our children, how to make them live more the win-win concept to be happier in their relationships? Work this on your child's education.

We are a family owned and operated business.

First, you will need to be the model for it. It is not enough to speak; you need to start acting win-win, to change your concepts on a day-to-day basis, and your children will see that this model will be worthwhile.

Second, you can find a school that works with this concept in the dynamics of day-to-day activities among students, that creates conditions for them to rethink their actions, find third alternatives to seek solutions that aim at a greater good. These school interventions should not only occur occasionally when there is a conflict at school. Strategies should be planned with proposals to develop win-win thinking in children from an early age.

We are a family owned and operated business.

According to the pedagogical coordinator Shirlei de Menezes Rico, from the Gran Leone school, this concept, among others, needs to be part of the school's curricular structure, because otherwise you can lose focus and pass up opportunities to work the win-win relationship “at any time. At the moment, you may have a conflict between students to resolve and show a win-win solution, but for that this concept must have been worked on in the classroom many times in dynamics prepared for this. That's what we do in our Personal Management and Ethics and Citizenship classes. ” says Shirlei.

For those who feel open to thinking about a win-win relationship to improve their relationships, here are some suggestions:

• When you see a conflict, stop and think. Never act reactively. Expect to pass the heat of emotions so that you can see the alternative solutions.

• When starting a conflict resolution dialogue, first show that you understood what the other was exposing. One tip is to use terms like "Are you telling me that ..." and repeat what your colleague or partner said, to show that you really understood what he meant. Understanding is not accepting.

• Put yourself in the other's shoes: imagine that you were created like him and have that same point of view. Wouldn't you also defend your cause?

• Then state your thoughts by being objective and making it clear what you think about the subject, which is correct or incorrect for you.

• This needs to be done without shouting and impositions, because the anger that comes out with our words will close the ear of the other. If you act in anger, you will be as unreasonable as the other, because it will corrupt what you do or say.

• Think of alternative solutions. Our free will makes the world a creative place, where freedom of choice helps us to create different solutions, where each one can give a little without losing its essence.

Take this idea to your home, to your family, to your wedding, to your workplace. And start the change for you. Soon people will notice something different in your behavior and you will feel happy that you are doing good for yourself and for each other.

Shirlei de Menezes Rico

Pedagogue and speech therapist.